110 min
Set the one-conversation goal, today. Pick one professional setting coming up this week, a meeting, a coffee, an event, even a recurring call. Set one goal using script 1: one real conversation. Write down who, if you already know.
Week 2 of 4The Relationships Playbook
Start a real conversation without performing
The read (3 minutes)
If networking has always felt fake, here's the thing worth hearing: it was probably actually fake. The standard version is a trade. Collect contacts, say the right things to the right people, add them online, never speak again. Your gut knows the difference between that and a real connection, which is exactly why it feels fake. The problem was never your personality. It was the version of networking you were handed.
The shift is small. Stop walking into conversations asking "what can I get from this person," and start asking "who is this person, actually." What are they working on? What do they care about? What problem are they trying to solve right now? People feel the difference immediately. Lead with real curiosity and the conversation gets interesting, the other person feels seen, and you end up genuinely useful to them because you actually know what they need.
There's a practical version of this you can use this week. Before you walk into any professional setting, give yourself one goal: one real conversation. Not five business cards, not "introduce myself to the VP." One real conversation where you find out what someone is actually working on. And when your mind goes blank in front of someone senior, you don't need a clever opener. You need one good question and the willingness to listen to the answer.
This week's moves
215 min
Pick your three questions. Memorize the three openers in scripts 2, 3, and 4 so your brain doesn't empty in the moment. Choose the one that fits your setting and plan to use it.
320 min
Make one room-move. In any group setting this week, do one of two things from script 5: walk over to the person standing alone, or add something real to a conversation you're already in instead of just nodding along.
Script bank
Word for word, ready to use. Edit any script to make it yours, then copy it.
1.The one-goal reset
Before you walk in: "My goal here is one real conversation, not a stack of contacts." One conversation where you learn what someone's actually working on counts as a win for the whole event.
2.The open-door question
For any event: "What brought you here?" It opens onto what they care about and why they showed up. A real question that gets a real answer.
3.The excited question
When you have a little context (you know their name, their role, their work): "What are you working on right now that you're most excited about?" People rarely get asked that, and they remember who asked.
4.The deep question
When you don't know where to start: "I'd love to hear more about your work in [their area]. What's been the most interesting challenge you've dealt with recently?" Most people will talk for ten minutes. Your job is to actually listen.
5.The room-move
Two options, pick one. Find the person standing alone (half the room is uncomfortable too) and open with one of the questions above. Or, in a group, wait for a natural pause and add something that moves it forward: a follow-up question, a build on what someone just said. That's how people start to remember you were there.
Friday debrief prompts
Your Friday email carries the reply template. These are the prompts inside it.
- The one real conversation you had: what did you learn about the other person?
- Which of the three questions felt most natural coming out of your mouth?
- Did you make a room-move? What happened?
Your self-score: Week 2
Score each statement from 1 (not true) to 5 (true).
Re-entry note
Missed week 1? Don't go back yet. Do this week's moves, then build your circle map (week 1, move 1) over the weekend. You'll want it for week 3.